You’re the average of the five people you spend the most time with – Jim Rohn
Luckily, I’ve spent the last 20 years with many smart, ambitious, coachable, and billable people. When I reflect on this collaborative learning journey, these words keep coming up. These 5 verbs keep professionals growing.
Ask
Pull out what someone else is thinking with a question mark – ? –
This is a superpower. Isn’t this what babies and children do? Isn’t this the human edge? Isn’t this the crucible of learning? Asking great questions is what lovely thinkers, philosophers, bankers, consultants, attorneys, parents, counselors, and advisors do.
New hires ASK: As a younger person, get good at asking questions. Of course, do the pre-work to find out simple answers yourself (think: ChatGPT). Doing the Vince Lombardi hard-work yourself, first. Being humble enough to see the need for help. Building enough rapport to “earn the right” to ask. Finding thoughtful generous people. Finding the right time and forum. Having the courage.
Don’t be afraid of people. If you spent your Covid-19 days learning online (good job), but don’t fall for the trap that you can do all your work with ChatGPT, texting, MS Teams, slack. People skills = real skills.
Directors ASK: You are already good at your job. You’ve been promoted a few times already. What questions should you be asking now? Where are you in the S-curve of your life (career, family, health, parenting). Be strategic.
- What is “winning” to you now?
- Tell me about your career ambitions?
- How are you using your gifts, experiences, and unfair advantages?
- What are the life demands and reality?
- What are your risk tolerances?
Beware of the plateau. Tomorrow doesn’t have to look like yesterday. Executive coaching can be a real unlock for you. Find someone who can help you probe and get answers.
Solo consultants ASK: You need to use ChatGPT (or the LLM of your choice) more. You need to dig into this Harry Potter microwave. It’s not perfect, but it will save you a TON of time, and is better than you fear.
Hot tip: On ChatGPT, go to the bottom left where your profile is showing. Go to Personalization – Custom Instructions. Then give it some guidelines on how to talk with you. If you are like me, ask it to be concise, structured, weigh the pro/con, give sources, limit the non-sense. Keep tweaking the wording until it’s cranking out responses the way you want. Harry Potter magic.
Do
Professional services is a practice, an apprenticeship. It’s actions, not excuses. Yes, it’s cerebral, thoughtful, and fun. AND, its about exposure (hat tip: coach Z). Do the work. Get reps. Practice. Get in the game, my friend.
I am biased. I don’t see a lot of people working. Activity = yes. Thoughtful productivity = no.
New hires DO: Yes, this will sound like a Gen X thing to say, but do deliberate work. Although it sounds painful, learn how to bake the bread the old fashioned way. Put in the sweat and tears so that you have stories to tell. Demonstrate some grit. Learn how to NOT give up.
Directors DO: In terms of work, you have a LOT of DO already. You’re climbing the “competency framework”, doing new things, doing more things. For us in our 50s, some of our DO might be uniquely NOT work related:
- How’s your health? Blood pressure? Meds?
- Relationship at home, family, friends? Lonely?
- Financial security, savings, investing? Are you on track?
Directors DO NOT: In Deep Work (affiliate link), Cal Newport notes that professionals are woefully ineffective with our time. Factories have been super optimized for standard work, but white collar workers (you and me) piddle away our time. Lots of small fry distractions that do not make it to the top of the Eisenhower matrix of IMPORTANT and NOT URGENT. We need more deep work and less administrivia.
My guess is that you need to do FEWER things better. My guess is that adding on 5 new things in 2026 is an appetite for uh-oh. Strategy is what you choose NOT to do. It’s about trade-offs.
Solo consultants DO: More experimentation. The corporate world is getting flipped by GenAI. There’s been Schumpeter waves of destruction (ERP, SaaS), but GenAI is a tsunami. In the past, technology diffusion (think: Crossing the Chasm, Geoffrey Moore) took time because technology was scary and for risk takers. Now, not adopting GenAI is scary. Luddites will lose.
Marketing is about a) finding a subset of customers who are inclined to love your work, b) making it easy for them to buy your work, c) creating a virtuous cycle where they tell their friends. Simple marketing frameworks can help. Peter Drucker said (paraphrase) that the purpose of a business was to create a customer. He was talking to you. Hustle, share advice, write proposals, get referrals, price smartly, over-deliver, have fun, and make client/friends.
Write
Writing has been an enormous unlock in my life. The ability – and privilege – to put my thoughts on paper has been a lovely friend to me. Late at night, before I go to bed, tossing and turning with my squirrel brain spinning, it’s an uncomposed mess. At my desk, with coffee, with you reading, it makes sense.
I don’t know what I think until I write it down – Joan Didion
New hires WRITE: Use a pen and paper. Put things down in long-hand. Slow your squirrel mind down and process what you are hearing. Find ways to memorialize your learning; too many times we “think” we learned something because we heard it. In reality, our brains are more like a filter than a sponge. Write down key takeaways. After I listen to a podcast, I start forgetting what I heard immediately.
Directors WRITE: I have too many friends, colleagues, trainees who have 20+ years of experience, with nothing written down. No portfolio to show off, after a million miles of flights and thousands of hours of client deliverable creation. This is urgent and not okay.
In the age of GenAI, content is becoming a commodity. Distilling your own thoughts, on your own paper (not your client deliverables, or company white papers, or other people’s intellectual property) is gold. As a director, do you have your own intellectual property? Put your thoughts down before you forget. If you don’t know what to write, ask yourself, “What do people keep asking me for help with?’
Solo consultants WRITE: If you’ve been doing this already = winning. If you don’t have a portfolio, then you better start now. If you’re in professional services (most of us are), you are trying to “pull in demand”, not sell your supply. For me, I would say that 50% of my clients find me because of blog posts, LinkedIn, or other content floating on the web. Consider your portfolio a “passive net” that catches willing fish when the time is right.
Teach
We don’t learn something truly, until we try to teach it. You can read 10 books, but until you put it into practice, and teach it to yourself and others, it’s head carbs. Teaching takes some smarts – know your audience, choose the right content, put it together in an easy-to-get, easy-to-remember, and hopefully, easy-to-use way.
- Tell me and I forget. Teach me and I may remember. Involve me and I learn – Benjamin Franklin
- I touch the future. I teach – Christa Mcauliffe
New hires TEACH: Here’s a lovely chance to reverse-mentor. My guess is that your boss / manager / founder knows a lot less than you about NotebookLLM. Why not teach them some of the skills that you have? You are a digital native; put that learning to use. We are in a true “sweet spot” in time where everyone is a newbie in GenAI. The playing field has never been flatter for you to learn, experiment, document, and teach others.
Directors TEACH: You have so much to share. You are who people should be apprenticing with.
Cal Newport talks about how really deep work gives you a more mature passion (John likes to call this “capital P”) about a topic because you can really be present, see the adjacencies, innovate, and create new areas of learning. You are not “fighting with the core content”. Metaphorically, this is the hundredth time you’ve cooked that soufflé – you know it will rise. Now we get to tweak the core recipe and make it our own. How to do this?
- Reach out to your L&D (Learning and Development) department and tell them you want to be an internal trainer; they will love you. This will help you become a leader among leaders.
- Offer to lead a “brown bag lunch” to share your recent project, process, or vendor success
- Sign up for your company’s mentor program to help some new hires
- Be a part of a strategic initiative or change management program (post-merger integration, digital transformation, GenAI pilot); this will give you the opportunity to share your insider knowledge
As you teach, you will start seeing the workflow and how inefficient it is. You will see all the fat that can be cut away with agentic workflow. As Elon Musk said (paraphrase): “The best part is no part.”
Solo consultants TEACH: Sales is teaching. Create content that your potential clients, and prospects could benefit from. In Jab, Jab, Jab, Right Hook (affiliate link), Gary Vee talks about being massively generous (jab, jab, jab, jab) before you ask for a sale (right hook). Your ability to demonstrate credibility, character, and competence with your content is bravo. Make it a game. . how many super-impactful ways can I attract my target (lovely) customers’ attention and add value. How can I get them to love the way I think? How can I engage with them for hours, even before I know their name? Teaching is marketing. Create “how to videos” and put them on LinkedIn and YouTube. Create a subscriber base of people who learn from you, like your work, and can recommend you to their bosses and people with budget.
Enjoy
Sometimes, we over-achievers are uniquely bad at this. I wish many of us were 10 points lower on IQ, and 10 points higher in gratitude. Life is short. Memento mori. My wife and I started this simple (yet meaningful) thought experiment. When we get flustered, pissed, disappointed, or oi-vey about something, we ask, “In the last week of our life, will this make the top 10 things we think/regret?” Invariably, the answer is no. Few things make the list other than health, family, self-worth, learning, and fun. BOOM.
Everyone ENJOY: I’d love for you to enjoy your road to mastery. This is a chance for you to enjoy your hero’s journey. Enjoy the grind because you will be able to say something like this. “When I was young, I thought _____, but discovered ________. It was so hard that I _______ , but then I ________, which was very lucky and a little smart. It felt like a loss, but in actuality, it helped me __________. Then – because of that sacrifice, I think ___________ which led me to this. Winning.”
Work life balance is difficult, impossible. I’d like for you to re-think this a bit here. Enjoyment is not just time you’re not working. My guess is that many of the people you respect, want to resemble, and look up to enjoy their craft. Put in your 10,000+ hours. Impress your client. Have pride in your work. This can be pleasurable.
Homework: pick 1 verb to focus on this quarter
Ask.
Do.
Write.
Teach.
Enjoy.